Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider's The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right or How to Win at Love are fun, insightful, and surprisingly useful. The book opens with an interesting story about why love is so complicated. It starts by saying that people avoid love because they are afraid of rejection, which causes them to be guarded around potential mates. When these people ask themselves if their relationship will last, they feel uncertain about whether or not their partner will leave them for someone else. This uncertainty causes them to feel guarded, very much like the first stages of a relationship. Fein and Schneider are clear that people are more likely to be rejected by someone they are not interested in rather than being rejected by someone they are interested in. They liken this to "going on a blind date." The author says it is more likely that you will fail on a blind date than succeed. People, therefore, feel nervous and suspicious about the person they're with and choose not to take risks with them. This is also known as "the fear of intimacy." It makes us work too hard and too long for any relationship that is not easy or fun or meaningful. If two people enjoy time together, they think that is enough. Fein and Schneider say that the "old rules" for dating don't work anymore. People can't act coy anymore; they can't play hard to get. There is no more guessing about what someone wants. If you want to be with someone, you have to ask them out and tell them how you feel or they will never know. According to "The Rules", there are ten rules in the game of love—the key ones being:The book states that when both potential partners are moving forward in a relationship, it is easier for both of them because the initiative is not on one person or on one gender. The Rules also explains that "if he's interested, he will call," and if it is important to you, you will find out. I found The Rules intriguing. I liked how it teaches women about self-worth and self-respect. The book states that if a girl wants something she has to go for it. It also says if you want somebody you have to let them know and be honest about how you feel, or they won't know and love may pass them by. It explained that most guys like girls who are confident in themselves and they like girls who go after what they want. Feminism is not screaming, nail polish or ranting about equality, but it is respecting yourself so you can respect others. The Rules states that if a woman loves herself, she will find love. If a woman doesn't love herself she'll be so desperate to find someone to love her that she'll settle for anyone. This book says "if you have to try too hard for someone's attention, they are either not that into you or they are just not that into anyone right now." I liked this book because it was funny and it made me think about the things I do in my life. My favorite part of the book was when the author says, “You create your own happiness. 8eeb4e9f32 35
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